The sun still rises even with the pain – Head and the Heart
Curtains open. Lights come on. I’m standing on stage – vulnerable, exposed – the story is playing out and there is no stuffing the script into an old box and hiding it under my bed. I have arrived and the film is rolling with or without me. Here goes nothing. Here goes everything.
Things started to get crystal clear that it was time to make a change and listen to my mind and body. I mean, how couldn’t I ? They were shouting and screaming at me that it was time to do something differently. I created an action plan in my head, and mechanically started to check things off my list one by one.
My list was pretty short at first.
- Go the eff on sick leave, you stubborn idiot.
Okay, let me pause here for just a second. It’s SCARY to ask for what you need. Stigmas be damned.Be courageous. Take what you need.
One more time.
Be courageous. Take what you need.
When I asked for the time off I thought it was a world ending decision. The sun still came up the next day, and eventually, I too got up and out of bed.
- Get my psychologist (we’ll call her Dr. A for Dr Awesome) on the phone stat.
Why is Dr. A so awesome? Where do I even start? It would take a thousand page novel to capture how amazing this woman is, and how much she has impacted me in the best kind of way. I wish I could have taken a recorder into our sessions just to be able to regurgitate all of the tools, wisdom, and encouragement that she provided me with. My half baked memory will have to do. Dr. A called me while she was away on vacation in Mexico. That lifeline she threw me was enough to face the weeks to come with courage, kindness, and self-love. #thestorygetsbettersoon
** I dedicate ‘Rise Up’ to a very special person who is going to get giddy when she reads the title. You helped me talk back at the voices inside. You know who you are. ❤ **